Beaver Overthinking Dam | The Onion

HUNTSVILLE, ONTARIO—Local beaver Dennis Messner is spending an inordinate amount of time and effort in the planning and construction phases of building his dam, according to neighbors close to the project.In the past four months, Messner, 4, has visited hundreds of other dams and drawn up detailed and extensive blueprints. He has researched topics ranging from advanced dome acoustics to the near-extinction of the North American beaver in the early 20th century, and plans to incorporate much of his research into his design.Dennis Messner”There are two primary schools of thought on dam building: the instinctive school and the adaptive school,”  Messner said, studying the rivers current. “Im more of an integration-minded postmodernist. I dont believe that form should follow function, like most of my colleagues do. On the other hand, a dam is a celebration of beaver culture, and that is what it should reflect.”

via Beaver Overthinking Dam | The Onion – Americas Finest News Source.

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